Friendship is supposed to be easy....

Friendship is supposed to be easy.  Friends are supposed to be the people who have your back, who you can tell your secrets to, who genuinely care about you.  For me, friendship seems to be hard to come by.  I've never been one to have a giant group of friends.  I was lucky to have 1 best friend at a time.  I was ok with that!  I mean, friends are supposed to be quality, not quantity, right?  I have this "friend" and honestly, it has just become too much work to be friends.  I feel I have to take all of the first steps.  Sure we have done plenty of stuff together, but I have always had to make the plans, make the decisions, initiate everything.  A few months ago, I just silently lost it.  I felt everything I did or suggested she was fighting me over.  I just stepped back.  I've never felt she was the friend to me that I tried to be to her.  I would want to share semi-private conversations or information with her.  She was always reserved, as if she didn't trust me.  I've been told I "shoot from the hip" that I am what you see, and that's what you get.  Everything with her is always so secretive, or at least it is towards me.  Then, recently I invited her to meet up when I was pretty sure we both had free time.  I was met with "oh, I can't."  I let it go until I see her out, alone, seemingly doing nothing.  I guess the "I can't" was more of "I don't want to."  I really wish I could get back what I give.  I'm not sure it's ever in the cards for me.